Lump

First, can I say that the first thing that comes to mind is The Presidents of the United States, “She’s Lump, She’s Lump, She’s in my head…”? Yeah, I had that CD in high school. Or was it college? Ah, either one, it’s on my iPod now – good running song.

I think you know where I’m going from here. My ob/gyn probably wishes I would just come in for a normal appointment (which I have done once in the last 5 years of living here…maybe twice).

I’m not sure how it came about, but some how I found “it.” “It” is resting at the bottomish part of Mrs. Right. About an inch in width and thick is how I would describe it. Seems to ‘palpitate’ which is what I’ve caught on is a good thing from friends who have walked this road before me.

What’s crazy? How peaceful I’ve felt. I mean, the words of Roman 8:15  So you have not received a spirit that makes you fearful slaves. Instead, you received God’s Spirit when he adopted you as his own children have never been more full and true. I mean, my normal self would say, “Whoa back a moment. This is a BIG deal.” But, really, it’s not. I mean, I hesitated, significant hesitation, to let my prayer warriors know. I was reasoning with God in the shower this morning (yep, we have morning chats in the shower, you should try it), and telling Him that I didn’t need to bother them with any concern because it’s fine. I just know. But he kept pressing on my heart that part of asking for prayer is submission to allow others to do for you. Submitting my inmost requests to him in an act of faith is what he desires of my heart. So I did.

On my drive to school (the whole 2 miles), the song that come on my iPod was by Chris Tomlin, “Our God,” and the lyrics of the chorus just overflowed with praise from my Spirit, “And if our God is for us, Then who can ever stop us, And if our God is with us, Then what can stand against?” I wish I could convey to you the immensity of the fullness I felt of my Spirit filling and overflowing. Such.Peace.

It was at that moment I felt the most peace. “God, you know if it is “something,” I pray that you use it to your Glory.” Right after that came out of my lips (yes, I talk, verbally, to God in my car), I replied (to myself, again), “where did that come from? I should be scared, reasoning how it’s all wrong. But, why not me? What an awesome opportunity to glorify him and grow closer to him?”

It’s weird, but I’m excited to follow God on this journey. Even now, Tomlin is playing in iTunes, “For You and You alone, Awake my soul, Awake my soul and sing, For the world You love, Your will be done in me,” and I don’t believe I’ve ever had a more peaceful and sincere prayer.

I offer this as a challenge to you…what are you holding on to – a fear perhaps – that you need to give to him and allow him to grow your faith and allow him to bless you?

Comments

  1. says

    I am sending so much love your way, you can't even imagine. Seriously, you can't.

    The times I have felt the most free in my faith were when I had a huge fear in my life. HUGE. When I literally had to lay someone or something on his altar and prepare to walk away. You lay that lump on the altar. And walk away. I know you already are.

    I know you've had friends go down this road, but my sister, Amy, would be glad to talk to you about her walk with the lump.

    LOVE, LOVE, LOVE!

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